Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Rough Few Days

Hey friends!

I hope you are all doing okay! I am doing good, life is ok, definately no complaints. I will give you a quick update as there is not much to say before going onto someon other things I have been thinking about. So this week hasn't been the best. I have definately be struggling thing week more than the last couple weeks. It has nothing to do with not wanting to do well or feeling like I want to give up, it is just that sometimes it feels hard, for instance Monday was a holiday, yesturday I just felt like eating and had too many sweets and today was well today. So yeah. I cannt let myself feel guilty or I feel that makes it worse but that is where it is at.

So today was my cousin's funeral. I have been thinking alot about life, and about how Heavenly Father has a plan for all his children. This plan is not exclusive to those who are obeying the commandments or who are members of one church or another but all his children. I think when it comes to his plan for all of us there is an easy and a harder way to get to that destination, I think difference is the journey we take. I spent a great deal of time thinking about this because my cousin had his own deamons, and sometimes the road was hard for him, but he had a testimony, he believed in his Father in Heaven's love, and he was incredibly charitable. I think all of us sometimes choose the easy part of the journey and sometimes we choose the hard part of the path to get back to him. What is still eluding my mind and understanding is how to see the journey so I can see the easier path. I think we learn a great deal from our struggles, from our mistakes, and from our regrets, but I think that some of those things never needed to happen in the first place, what I still want to understand is how to skip the struggles and choices that, though we learn from them, make our paths more difficult than need be. I am grateful today for the Atonement, for my Savior and that he Atoned for my sins, that he felt my struggles, worries, concerns, and afflicitions that they may be light.

Have a great night!

love you


Monday, May 27, 2013

The Verdict is in!

Hey friends!!

I hope you are all doing so well. I had a great and productive weekend. I had probably one of the most embarassing thing happen to me this weekend too. Me and a couple of friends went to an extreme air sports place, it was a lot of fun except one part. The pit, I swung from the rope swing and was swallowed up by the pit. I couldn't get out, and I am sure I looked a little like a beached well. Thanks to a little patience from friend and some help I finally got out but not without being completely embarassed by myself, my size, and my in ability to move. It was so frustrating and I felt so self concious the next time I went and saw my friend. Moral of the story, don't go in the ball pit.

Otherwise I feel I have done well. Last week was more of a struggle than I expected but I have tried really hard to be better. I am looking forward to this week and being better. So last week's verdict is in, the results... 2 lbs. I was so happy with two pouns. One more to ten! Wish me luck for another good week!


Ps. Thanks for the love and support, keep it coming it helps me everyday!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Been a couple days

Hey friends!!

I hope you all got to read my post on Monday and were inspired, and if you are anything like me you might have been humming clouds since then. pray for their family. I am truly grateful that families are forever, my cousin passed away this week and it makes me grateful that his family will be whole again. Heavenly Father had infinite wisdom when he planned our world and I am grateful for that.

So it has been a few day and I am doing ok. I feel like though I am doing fine I might not be doing as well as last week but only time will tell, I won't step on a scale until Sunday so pray for some weightloss for me!! I rode my bike yesturday and it was nice and I will again tomorrow. I might also go on a ride Monday!! yeah for holidays!! Otherwise all is well on the home front.

A few things for those interested in anyside effects. Toprimate which is half of the weight loss drug causes tingly fingers, toes, and face. I have had a few face tingles but all in all way better than when I went on it for my migraines. I forgot how sometimes it makes it hard for me to think striaght but that cloud lifted. I started to get hungry at the beginning of the week again, but I am again at the point where I am no. I don't know if it is because I am getting more calories or if it is progress of the drug as more gets in my system. All in all not really bad at all.

Now a couple things first I often think, man I wish. I wish I had done this, I wish I had changed that, I wish I had been more aware. I tried for a long time to live my life without regrets than in pondering the regrets of my life I felt impressed that the regrets aren't to be morned but to be celebrated because it is a lesson learned in what I can change now that I may not have been able to change then. One such regret is if I had taken better care of myself even four years ago when I had been at my smallest since starting college. But today I realized the I wishes, no matter what they were or are hold me back from reaching my full potential. This life is about making mistakes on the way to perfection meaning that we all make mistakes, learn, repent, and change. It is only in learning that we become what our Heavenly Father intends for us to be. One goal for this week is to work on my I wish, or regrets. I want to see the beauty and appreciate the lessons I learn along the way, learn to forgive myself, accept myself for who I am and where I am right now, and trust in the Atonement to make me better.

Last thing is here is to a better tomorrow. Yes I am watching how I eat, yes, I am loosing weight as a goal, but the important part of what I am doing is about making life long changes, changes need to be more then just what I put in my mouth. They need to be about understanding who I am, why I emotionally eat, and what I can change. Honestly if you asked me if I ever could imagine myself as average size the honest answer is no. I don't know what average size is. I don't even know that if I looked in the mirror and I was average size that I would see average size. But you know what, today and for now this is okay. Because this change has to come with time. I have to face my fears, my trials, my worries and concerns as they come. Taking them all on at once will not help at all. So today and each day is the first day of the rest of my life, because each day I start fresh, with chances to make new decisions, to make better decisions and to learn to be happy with just being who I am.

Thanks for the love and support, I need it more than you all know!!

Love you!


Tuesday, May 21, 2013


Hey friends!

So I have been feeling frustrated and for no real reason, I am not eating anymore, things are good with school and work and I don't know, I just can't exlain it, but today I looked up something I saw in the headlines a couple days ago and found inspiration at a man who lived to few years but was many years my experience, maturity, though younger in age I am sure his spirit is old and very wise. He was diagnoised with a rare form of bone cancer and died after it spead. He decided to live life instead of morn and I am inspired by the life he lived, this is my report for you all tonight. Both video's are worth watching, please do, even if you work or do something else while listening. It is worth it, trust me!

This is his recent popular hit, it is catchy and reminds me that life is good and when we are down we can always get back up!

Love you all very much, thanks for your love and support, pray for this sweet family that they can find peace. This is why I am greatful families are forever!

Love you


Monday, May 20, 2013

Good Week and Great Weekend!!

Hey Friends!!

First, thanks for the support. It is easier when you feel like you have people who are cheering you on! So thanks!. I took the weekend off from posting, mostly cause I don't get to my computer often during the weekend. So this weekend was really good. I ate more calories but this was good cause I haven't been reaching my calories. I went to my niece and nephew's 2nd Birthday party and felt I did so well at not eating and came away feeling good with myself. 
Yesterday I made my first batch of Quinoa and I think it turned out well. I cooked it with corn, broccoli, onion, parsley, garlic, and some lemon and lime juice. It tastes good and I am happy with it. I figured out for two cups of it I will get about 288 calories! Not bad if I say so myself! 
Yesterday was a really good day, I went to church and the speakers spoke on having hope for our lives. It was what I needed to hear. We don't always see the path Heavenly Father has us on but he does and at a fireside with Barbara Thompson last night she told us that he does know our path, he has a plan and he will make it work. I have to continue to have faith and hope that I am on his path and he will lead me in the direction I need to grow and become what I need to in order to return to live with him. I love to be spiritually fed and I was ready to be yesterday. 
So the news you are all waiting to hear is how did I do? How did my first week pan out? Well I lost my first.... 7 pounds! yeah!! I am so excited! Here is to another good week.


Friday, May 17, 2013

Not Hungry

Hey Friends,
Two posts in one day! I did good today no sweets!! yeah. On the Flip side I wasn't hungry and didn't want to eat so I did a huge no no. I skipped lunch. I had a good dinner and I am doing good. So I wanted to tell you all I watched a documentary my friend (shout out to Kasie!!) told me about. It's called Hungry for Change, it was interesting and it totally got me thinking about all the reasons I should be eating whole wheat, lots of fruits and veggies, and non processed meats. Part of it has to do with all the bad stuff we put into things. It seems to make sense to eat the good stuff, I am going to try hard to eat less processed and more whole foods! Yeah me!! Okay done with my shameless plug! Hope you all have a fantastic weekend, I am headed to the temple in the moring and the who day will be pretty busy with lots on my to do list! Wish me luck!!

Better Late Than Never

Hey Friends!

Sorry no post last night. I was so tired I just went to bed. Yesterday was good. I definitely came in under my calories, I haven't been getting enough, I can tell by how my body feels. I am going to mix things up a bit next week. So far so good on the medication. A couple things I noticed, 1- It makes me a little tired, but this is expected because it is a side effect of toprimate, which I was on before so I knew to expect that. Second it already feels like it is helping a little, I find myself not as munchy or hungry as I have been in the past.

Good news is that feel like I am doing good, I feel very blessed as I ask for help in maintaining self control in eating and Heavenly Father has helped bless me immensely. I feel like it is getting easier, though I need to make some changes to make sure I am getting enough calories. 

I am happy life is good. Thanks for the support!!


Wednesday, May 15, 2013


Hey friends!!

Today was a good day. I ate a few more calories today but I feel good about it, I just lacked energy yesturday. But I am still feeling on track. I love how each successful day helps you feel confidence in yourself. I know there are many hard days, even a couple years in my path but I am grateful for the small wins. Heavenly Father has been my advocate the last couple days and it has not gone unnoticed. Second I love how when I have done something before I feel good about what I am doing it and know that I can. For instance I rode my bike to and from work for about 5 miles or a little more. But the thing is that I felt so confident that even though there were hard spots that made my thighs and tooshi burn that I could do it because I had done it before. And may I say boo for rain, it is supposed to rain this weekend, including Friday, if it is raining I will not be riding to work, A) I would get wet, and B) It is not safe. So here is hoping it decides not to rain. I actually have found a lot of joy in working out, I love the time outside, soaking up Vitamin D, and it is relaxing. I feel so good when I am done. So yeah! Thanks for the love and encouragement. I have felt good and like I can do this when I feel encouraged! You all rock!!



Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Another day, Another salad

Hey dear friends!!

I hope you are all happy and well.

Today was another great day! I did about 40 minutes in excersize and might I ad it was a beautiful day! I did really good, almost too good with eating. I had my salad, sugar free jello, and eggs today, I should have eaten some more, but I have done well. I ended the night with a girls night out and a little dole whip at Farrs, and come to find out it is only 20 calories an ounce with no fat, and it isn't to sweet either. I mad one happy discovery!! yeah for good things to eat!! Well tomorrow starts my first day on qsymia, we will see how it goes!!


Monday, May 13, 2013

Self, good day

Hey friends!

Thanks for all the love and support I got. It is appreciated. I was a bit apprehensive in putting it online for the world to see but I know I need to be accountable and this is a great way to do it! Today went well. I was hungry, like always when you restrict your diet you feel hungary. But I tried hard to stick to healthy and no sweet options. I am happy to report that I ate two salads and did really well. I am also very proud of myself! I stuck to only one sweet thing today and this is a huge feat as I am always wanting something sweet. I also drank a ton of water.
My ride went really well today. I am currently riding my moms pink beach cruiser, it is fun to ride on but there is one drawback that is probably a plus. It doesn't have gears so the pedal was all me carrying myself up town and back. But I loved it, it was a hot day but you don't notice until you stop because the breese keeps you cool! Also the whole of 800 east might be slightly declined because I was going fast and not really working as hard as I did the other way. All in all a great ride.
A couple things I have been thinking about, I spend a lot of time schooling and working. Part of the reason the weight needs to come off is because I am going to be a school teacher in a little over a year and I will need to be in the classroom standing all day. I need to make sure I am doing my part and that means being a better me. Another thing I have been thinking about is how busy I get and time passes and I do not get all done that I wanted to. So I am making a list for this summer, fall, and winter of things I would like to do, first go up the canyon, I love to look at the stars and I love a good campfire, I cannot wait to do something fun. Second I love plays and musicals, I want to see a couple of the ones they will be doing at the Scera, plus I would love to go to the tuachan and the Shakespearian festival. Lastly I want to go to seven peaks. In the fall I would love to take a weekend and go to Disneyland, just a quick trip but I always wanted to see the pumkin mickey mouse magic. In the winter I want to spend more time enjoying Christmas, it feels like it comes and goes so fast I would like to go to temple square, the river bottoms, and maybe take some time off work to just love the holiday. I just want to love being alive, and experiencing life! I turn 30 in September and I just am feeling like it is time to stop letting time pass so fast being so busy and just time to start loving life you know?
I don't know how many are reading this and I am not sure if this will be a daily thing forever but for now it is helping so keep on keeping and never give up your dreams!


Sunday, May 12, 2013

New Day New You

Hey friends!
It has been a while, it is hard for me to keep up with everything sometimes, but I am alive and well. I have made a decision, with the help of my endocrin. It is time for a change. Tomorrow starts the first day of my weight loss journey again. I was down 90 pounds in 2008. I do not have a thyroid and when my levels went out of control so did the weight gain. So I am beginning again. He gave me many options, weight loss surgery was one, as I thought and prayed about it I didn't feel good about it at all. He gave me another option to try the new weight loss pill Quisma. I have been on the topramax that is part of the chemical makeup for migraines so I am feeling okay about this choice. So tomorrow I will begin my journey. My plan for this week begins with biking about 5 miles 3 times this week, and doing something like lunges, squats, and cardio. for two days. I hope this goes well and I definately need support. I also am going to eat two salads a day and limit my sugar intake. I have a mad sweet tooth and I really hope that this medication helps.
My plan then is to keep track of my weight loss and size changes, I will measure in later this week. Also I plan on using this blog as information for any who wants to know about this drug and the way it helps or side effects that aren't great. I think the experience of others is priceless so it will be good. I could always use lots of advice, and mostly encouragement.
Here is to the start of a new week, counting calories, and regular excersize. Wish me luck!!