I hope you all got to read my post on Monday and were inspired, and if you are anything like me you might have been humming clouds since then. pray for their family. I am truly grateful that families are forever, my cousin passed away this week and it makes me grateful that his family will be whole again. Heavenly Father had infinite wisdom when he planned our world and I am grateful for that.
So it has been a few day and I am doing ok. I feel like though I am doing fine I might not be doing as well as last week but only time will tell, I won't step on a scale until Sunday so pray for some weightloss for me!! I rode my bike yesturday and it was nice and I will again tomorrow. I might also go on a ride Monday!! yeah for holidays!! Otherwise all is well on the home front.
A few things for those interested in anyside effects. Toprimate which is half of the weight loss drug causes tingly fingers, toes, and face. I have had a few face tingles but all in all way better than when I went on it for my migraines. I forgot how sometimes it makes it hard for me to think striaght but that cloud lifted. I started to get hungry at the beginning of the week again, but I am again at the point where I am no. I don't know if it is because I am getting more calories or if it is progress of the drug as more gets in my system. All in all not really bad at all.
Now a couple things first I often think, man I wish. I wish I had done this, I wish I had changed that, I wish I had been more aware. I tried for a long time to live my life without regrets than in pondering the regrets of my life I felt impressed that the regrets aren't to be morned but to be celebrated because it is a lesson learned in what I can change now that I may not have been able to change then. One such regret is if I had taken better care of myself even four years ago when I had been at my smallest since starting college. But today I realized the I wishes, no matter what they were or are hold me back from reaching my full potential. This life is about making mistakes on the way to perfection meaning that we all make mistakes, learn, repent, and change. It is only in learning that we become what our Heavenly Father intends for us to be. One goal for this week is to work on my I wish, or regrets. I want to see the beauty and appreciate the lessons I learn along the way, learn to forgive myself, accept myself for who I am and where I am right now, and trust in the Atonement to make me better.
Last thing is here is to a better tomorrow. Yes I am watching how I eat, yes, I am loosing weight as a goal, but the important part of what I am doing is about making life long changes, changes need to be more then just what I put in my mouth. They need to be about understanding who I am, why I emotionally eat, and what I can change. Honestly if you asked me if I ever could imagine myself as average size the honest answer is no. I don't know what average size is. I don't even know that if I looked in the mirror and I was average size that I would see average size. But you know what, today and for now this is okay. Because this change has to come with time. I have to face my fears, my trials, my worries and concerns as they come. Taking them all on at once will not help at all. So today and each day is the first day of the rest of my life, because each day I start fresh, with chances to make new decisions, to make better decisions and to learn to be happy with just being who I am.
Thanks for the love and support, I need it more than you all know!!