Thursday, January 27, 2011

Keyholder

To the Keyholder-

I remember the first time we met like it was yesterday. I was sitting in my spot, I was always sitting there, you probably can still picture me there. I was working on some homework. And you walk in with your best friend. I say hello, and you walk over to me. Without a care in the world you sit down and tell me who you are. I was always impressed with that. Oh and of course I thought you were good looking. From that moment on you had my eye, I was always excited for the weekend to roll around, I knew I would always have the pleasure of seeing you.

I think often of the night you tried to get me to kiss you under the mistletoe. Sometimes I wish I had, other times I wonder why I didn't. You were the only person in the world who could get me to blush the way you did. I don't easily embarrass, and yet around you I find myself a little more self conscience of saying too much, or too little, or not the right thing. And yet it is so easy to be me, to say what is on my mind, to tell you exactly how I feel.

I dreamt of the day I would be back on your streets, I never thought I would be there less then two years from the fateful mistletoe night. I didn't plan on meeting you for lunch that day. I especially didn't plan on letting you sweep me off my feet, and give me butterflies in my stomach! I wondered what people thought as they saw us sitting there in the pub.

It didn't take me long to figure out how I really felt about you. You are the current keyholder to my heart. I chose you to hold the delicate key to my fragile heart. I gave you the special key. I didn't know until you, what is was like to love someone so much it hurts. To put my heart in someone else's hands, and have no control over what they choose to do with it.

I want for you only happiness. I want your dreams to come true. I especially want your dreams and my dreams to merge, to become as one, so that I am and will always be part of your life. I looked forward to the day you came back with both enthusiasm and restrain. To talk to you again with expressions that letters can never share. But concern that you wouldn't care for me the way I did for you. That you had changed more then I was prepared to accept, mostly that you wouldn't love me as I love you. Now I look forward to the day, the day you say the words I hope to hear, to walk with you on your streets again. To not worry about the way it makes my heart hurts when I think that you aren't here, when I think you may not care for me as I do you.

See you weren't something I expected to happen. You weren't in the plan. Sometimes God does that. He puts people in our lives for unexpected reasons. Often times he asks us to do the hard things, the things that make our hearts ache, yearning for the love of someone you learn to care for more deeply then you ever thought possible. Also for your heart to ache, and to break, more then you knew your heart could, sometimes wondering whether it would heal, whether it were even possible to heal. Yet you realize like I do, I already made my choice. I already chose to give you my delicate key. It only fits in one little key hole, it opens up something fragile. What is inside has a lot to offer. More then I ever knew was possible to hold. You were put in my path for a reason, you tried to step aside, I tried to go around you, but no matter the path you still remain there. You still remain the keyholder to my heart.

Admiringly Yours,
The Women With the Green Eyes

1 comment:

Katie Rich said...

This is beautiful. I am glad to feel like I am in on the secret. I hope things work out in a way that makes you happy.