Good Morning Infinite Information Super Highway!
Sometimes you want something, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you want it so bad it hurts, it hurts even worse when you don't get it. Sometimes you wonder why you don't. I have learned from experience the why question never gets you anywhere? You may ask me why? Well the answer is simple, God doesn't answer the why's, he will answer what, where, sometimes when and that usually comes in some vague form, he will even tell you who when it is relevent. But why I will bet 99.999999999999999999...... percent of the time he will never answer.
Sometimes he tells us to do something life changing, only to have someone else, who it also pertains to decide no, that hurts especially when your mind and heart aligned, but the stars just didn't. Sometimes he tells one person yes and one person no. Sometimes someone tells you no. Sometimes your parent tell you no, Sometimes you tell yourself no.
For whatever reason the answer this time again was no. No California. Yup it has been a lot of no's, Yup it has been a long and very rocky road, Yup feeling really low right now, Yup feeling unused in church, in life, in my job. Yup I feel like I have no plan. and Yup the answer was no. The big man upstairs told me no. I am okay with no California I guess, but I am not okay with feeling un used, with feeling like my life is going no where, with him not loving me, not okay with no answers.
On a side note, it is also not okay for him to ignore me for 3 weeks, then all the sudden to pay attention. You are either my friend or not. Just sayin. I am not okay with it. Just sayin.