How are you? I hope fabulous, after all life is more about attitude then what is happening!!
I have been thinking about the experience of the last week. It has been more to digest then what I thought it would be. I told you about a surprise visit. I am not sure what expectations I had set for it, I had really mixed feelings about it. I want to be friends, and maybe I would give anything for it to be. But truthfully unlike other times seeing him for the first time was awkward. It was hard to realize that the experiences we have both had changed us. I am not sure what any of it means to me.
I know for the first time in a year I am not in love with him anymore. Maybe that is a good sign, one that says we could go back to being normal. It was a hard year, and thought of seeing him again when he broke my heart a year ago was hard, I went through all sorts of thought processes wondering what anything could me, did mean and whether I really wanted to see him at all. I don't know if I had expectations, after all expectations are hard to come up with anyways when you don't know what to expect. But I know one thing, I am not sure I expected to have things work out the way they did, I didn't expect to see him, and I didn't expect to feel the way I did. But like I said I think it is good, maybe we can get to be friends again move past the awkward feelings and towards a normal friendship. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone, unless you were me and had experienced this, but there you go.
Make today fabulous!