Hey Lovelies-
This week has been much better. I have been eating better, drinking more water, and trying hard to be better. It has also been an incredibly crazy week. I already have done homework but I have a test next weekend I need to start studying for on top of next weeks homework. I never knew summer classes were so incredibly crazy!! Oh well, I will get through the summer like everything else! So we will see what Sunday brings and with any luck it will be better than last week for sure!
Love you all and I appreciate you support! Have a great weekend!
Keri
Friday, June 28, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Odds and Ends and Recommitments
Hey Lovelies-
So to begin with. Last week was horrible, I struggled with my eating habits, and I was really stressing out, more about that in a minute, so I had very little weight loss. So I made my twenty pounds, but that is all I lost, 1 pound. But that is ok! Onwards and upwards I am recommitting and this week will be much better!!
So other things I need to talk about, first thing is I went to the missionary broadcast that they showed on Sunday evening! Oh man I loved it. I feel like there is so much good to be done when each member does their part, so many more people who would be touched by the gospel and each member trying harder to live the gospel. We truly we become a more saint like people. If the only person I change is myself than I rest assured that this was a job well done.
Last is why I was stressing, I had to meet with the bishop and I wasn't quite sure why. But I was sure stressing about it!! I got a new calling in my ward to be part of the relief society presidency and I am so excited!! I love the sisters in our ward so much. I know how much Heavenly Father loves them and I can share the love he gives me for them with them and I look forward to that opportunity!! I am so excited to work with the other sisters in the presidency as well. Together I think we are going to do good things and I am excited to see where things are going to go!
Lastly is recommitting, as always each week I see the need to continue to recommit to take care of myself, I am working harder on eating well and exercising more and I know it will be good at the end of the week! Wish me luck!! Love you all thanks for the love and the support!!
Keri
So to begin with. Last week was horrible, I struggled with my eating habits, and I was really stressing out, more about that in a minute, so I had very little weight loss. So I made my twenty pounds, but that is all I lost, 1 pound. But that is ok! Onwards and upwards I am recommitting and this week will be much better!!
So other things I need to talk about, first thing is I went to the missionary broadcast that they showed on Sunday evening! Oh man I loved it. I feel like there is so much good to be done when each member does their part, so many more people who would be touched by the gospel and each member trying harder to live the gospel. We truly we become a more saint like people. If the only person I change is myself than I rest assured that this was a job well done.
Last is why I was stressing, I had to meet with the bishop and I wasn't quite sure why. But I was sure stressing about it!! I got a new calling in my ward to be part of the relief society presidency and I am so excited!! I love the sisters in our ward so much. I know how much Heavenly Father loves them and I can share the love he gives me for them with them and I look forward to that opportunity!! I am so excited to work with the other sisters in the presidency as well. Together I think we are going to do good things and I am excited to see where things are going to go!
Lastly is recommitting, as always each week I see the need to continue to recommit to take care of myself, I am working harder on eating well and exercising more and I know it will be good at the end of the week! Wish me luck!! Love you all thanks for the love and the support!!
Keri
Friday, June 21, 2013
SUMMER!!!
Hey Lovelies!!
Welcome to summer, not that it hasn't been summer for like 3 or more weeks, but it officially is the first day of summer and the longest day of the year. So Monday my next class begins and then two more semesters. I am not really sure where the next couple weeks will take me but I will know soon hopefully. So enjoy your weekend and I hope you all get to do some fun things!! I know I am going to be enjoying it as I might have homework or work for the rest of the summer!! I will update you on how this weekend turned out!!
Keri
Welcome to summer, not that it hasn't been summer for like 3 or more weeks, but it officially is the first day of summer and the longest day of the year. So Monday my next class begins and then two more semesters. I am not really sure where the next couple weeks will take me but I will know soon hopefully. So enjoy your weekend and I hope you all get to do some fun things!! I know I am going to be enjoying it as I might have homework or work for the rest of the summer!! I will update you on how this weekend turned out!!
Keri
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Back on track
Dear Lovelies-
So today is hump day!! It was such a long, and I cannot express more long day. I am glad it is over. Yesturday was my mum's birthday, she turned 29, again. I love birthdays, but we did a lot of eating out and I didn't eat very conservative and well that definitely bled over into today. I got off my toosh and went on a bike ride tonight and that helped me feel better about where I was and tonight I feel kind of starving so I guess I did ok. So tonight I am recommitting to make the rest of the week better. I must as though my friends, what do you do that helps you to stay on track especially during celebrations and holidays??
I would love any and all advice!!
Love
Keri
So today is hump day!! It was such a long, and I cannot express more long day. I am glad it is over. Yesturday was my mum's birthday, she turned 29, again. I love birthdays, but we did a lot of eating out and I didn't eat very conservative and well that definitely bled over into today. I got off my toosh and went on a bike ride tonight and that helped me feel better about where I was and tonight I feel kind of starving so I guess I did ok. So tonight I am recommitting to make the rest of the week better. I must as though my friends, what do you do that helps you to stay on track especially during celebrations and holidays??
I would love any and all advice!!
Love
Keri
Monday, June 17, 2013
Thoughts and Side Effects
Hey friends-
Tonight needs another post. So since you all know about the weigh in the weekend went well. I finished cleaning, dejunking, and re-arranging my room. It is nice, I feel like I can be more at peace in my room which will make studying much easier come summer term. I am really glad I got done, a few little touches, laundry, and one trip to the local thrift store and I have completed my work. Yeah me!!
Second lets talk side effects. First of all the tingling has gotten a little worse, both in my face, hands, and feet. It is doable and for the most part not too noticable. I am happy with the way I feel, and it seems to help in other ways. It helps a lot with satiation. I am literally not very hungary, I can start eating and not really want to finish. It is nice and makes a huge difference in my eating habits. In the mean time I am working on changing my eating habits so that when the day comes and I go off the medication it will be ok and I won't just gain all my weight back. Otherwise I do not notice any other side effects. Occasionally a headache or two from not eating enough but I feel like I am doing ok.
Other thoughts, as of late I have been having anxiety more than ever, well really I never really get much anxiety, I try not to worry and stew but I have been feeling a heavy load as of late but I am not sure why, I hope I can find peace in my inner soul soon. It needs a break and so does my insides, they are really struggling!! Anyways that might be about all!
Love you all
Keri
Tonight needs another post. So since you all know about the weigh in the weekend went well. I finished cleaning, dejunking, and re-arranging my room. It is nice, I feel like I can be more at peace in my room which will make studying much easier come summer term. I am really glad I got done, a few little touches, laundry, and one trip to the local thrift store and I have completed my work. Yeah me!!
Second lets talk side effects. First of all the tingling has gotten a little worse, both in my face, hands, and feet. It is doable and for the most part not too noticable. I am happy with the way I feel, and it seems to help in other ways. It helps a lot with satiation. I am literally not very hungary, I can start eating and not really want to finish. It is nice and makes a huge difference in my eating habits. In the mean time I am working on changing my eating habits so that when the day comes and I go off the medication it will be ok and I won't just gain all my weight back. Otherwise I do not notice any other side effects. Occasionally a headache or two from not eating enough but I feel like I am doing ok.
Other thoughts, as of late I have been having anxiety more than ever, well really I never really get much anxiety, I try not to worry and stew but I have been feeling a heavy load as of late but I am not sure why, I hope I can find peace in my inner soul soon. It needs a break and so does my insides, they are really struggling!! Anyways that might be about all!
Love you all
Keri
quicky
Hey all-
I have much on my mind I will write more late but I thought I would update you all!
4 lbs!! yep four pounds for a total of 19 down. 1 more week and I will hit my first goal!! wish me luck!!
And thanks for all your love and support!!
Keri
I have much on my mind I will write more late but I thought I would update you all!
4 lbs!! yep four pounds for a total of 19 down. 1 more week and I will hit my first goal!! wish me luck!!
And thanks for all your love and support!!
Keri
Friday, June 14, 2013
Friday Fun Day and More Serious Ideas
Hey Friends-
So this week has been really good, or at least I hope it has. I have been eating and drinking well. I had my first fries the other day in a week or two and they were kind of gross. It was weird to feel that change. Also sweets are slowly taking a hike from my diet completely. It is weird how my insatiable sweet tooth slowly is disappearing. I am grateful that is for sure! I am happy with things as they are, hopefully this week will show is on the scale because I have lacked when it came to exercising. Yeah I need to definitely be better at that. So yeah. We will see what Sunday morning weigh in holds. I should start measuring because I know my clothes are getting bigger on me, my jeans are falling right off my hips, not that I really have much in the hip or tush region anyways.
There are other thoughts I have been wrapping my head around and trying to understand and explain. First I never really expected the beginning of my weight loss journey would cause so many of these feelings to resurface. I knew I have had them. I even knew I had them but felt I had dealt with them and had moved on but this last week they have resurfaced and have caused me to do a lot of reflecting.
When you spend a lifetime, so for me 20+ years being bigger than the other kids you have a skewed body image. I honestly cannot see myself thin. I don't know what thin would look like, much less look like on me. Even if I did I am not sure I would know I am thin. See when you think you are bigger you always feel bigger than you are. I weigh far more than the size I look. But my perception is different. I sometimes feel like I look like a beached whale. This isn't the case I know this, but for others to understand you have to know this is real for those who struggle with weight. I looked at a picture of me in high school the other day and realized that I looked really good, but I felt so big, that perception never has changed. THAT is the point I am trying to make. Self perception is hard. I don't know what normal size should look like because my own body perception is so skewed.
This of course stems from my own experience of being teased and bullied as a kid. The feelings I am talking about are those self conscious, everyone is thinking mean things about me feelings. It for the most part isn't true. I know this. But it doesn't make me feel any less self conscious. We went camping last weekend as I said, they wanted all of us girls in one cabin, all the cabin bunks left were in the middle of an open space and the idea for me of sleeping there was just too much, I couldn't explain the self consciousness, but I sure felt it. Then again on Monday I went to FHE where we had a pool party and I was feeling so self conscious, but I put a smile on and joined a basketball game in the pool. I over analyze things I say when I leave after a conversation and I worry just too much. I Haven't had this problem in years. So why is it when I start my own weight loss journey all these feelings come up again?? I am not sure, but I know they have a lot to do with my struggles on perfection, and on recognizing that I deserve to be loved, and most importantly that one day I could even get married, sometimes these feel so foreign to me but they are hard to explain to others, because it is really just one of those things that experience influences. so if anyone has any ideas I would love to hear them!
I will report on my changes for the week either Sunday or Monday, oh and wish me luck as I work to keep de-junking my room!!
Keri
So this week has been really good, or at least I hope it has. I have been eating and drinking well. I had my first fries the other day in a week or two and they were kind of gross. It was weird to feel that change. Also sweets are slowly taking a hike from my diet completely. It is weird how my insatiable sweet tooth slowly is disappearing. I am grateful that is for sure! I am happy with things as they are, hopefully this week will show is on the scale because I have lacked when it came to exercising. Yeah I need to definitely be better at that. So yeah. We will see what Sunday morning weigh in holds. I should start measuring because I know my clothes are getting bigger on me, my jeans are falling right off my hips, not that I really have much in the hip or tush region anyways.
There are other thoughts I have been wrapping my head around and trying to understand and explain. First I never really expected the beginning of my weight loss journey would cause so many of these feelings to resurface. I knew I have had them. I even knew I had them but felt I had dealt with them and had moved on but this last week they have resurfaced and have caused me to do a lot of reflecting.
When you spend a lifetime, so for me 20+ years being bigger than the other kids you have a skewed body image. I honestly cannot see myself thin. I don't know what thin would look like, much less look like on me. Even if I did I am not sure I would know I am thin. See when you think you are bigger you always feel bigger than you are. I weigh far more than the size I look. But my perception is different. I sometimes feel like I look like a beached whale. This isn't the case I know this, but for others to understand you have to know this is real for those who struggle with weight. I looked at a picture of me in high school the other day and realized that I looked really good, but I felt so big, that perception never has changed. THAT is the point I am trying to make. Self perception is hard. I don't know what normal size should look like because my own body perception is so skewed.
This of course stems from my own experience of being teased and bullied as a kid. The feelings I am talking about are those self conscious, everyone is thinking mean things about me feelings. It for the most part isn't true. I know this. But it doesn't make me feel any less self conscious. We went camping last weekend as I said, they wanted all of us girls in one cabin, all the cabin bunks left were in the middle of an open space and the idea for me of sleeping there was just too much, I couldn't explain the self consciousness, but I sure felt it. Then again on Monday I went to FHE where we had a pool party and I was feeling so self conscious, but I put a smile on and joined a basketball game in the pool. I over analyze things I say when I leave after a conversation and I worry just too much. I Haven't had this problem in years. So why is it when I start my own weight loss journey all these feelings come up again?? I am not sure, but I know they have a lot to do with my struggles on perfection, and on recognizing that I deserve to be loved, and most importantly that one day I could even get married, sometimes these feel so foreign to me but they are hard to explain to others, because it is really just one of those things that experience influences. so if anyone has any ideas I would love to hear them!
I will report on my changes for the week either Sunday or Monday, oh and wish me luck as I work to keep de-junking my room!!
Keri
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