Fall

Hey Lovelies!

Hope you are all doing fantastic! Guess what??? I know can you believe it!!! The fall isn't just coming anymore, it is finally here!. The leaves on the mountains are chaning to their bright fall colors, the weather is so nice, with great tempratures, great big beautiful blue sky, and I love it. I love the fall I always wanted to get married in the fall, fall in love, walking hand in hand as leaves fall off the trees. It smells nice, it is nice, it is colorful and beautiful, and I love the fall!! The only downside snow is coming too sooon!! NOOOO please don't snow, I need the fall to last through Thanksgiving!

Speaking of the fall the yesturday I saw this really great postcard for Disneyland. It showed all the fun of the fall they have there and I thought to myself, Self I want to go to disneyland, who would go with me? I don't know but I really want to go, someone out there want to enjoy the magic of Disney?

Last note, I spoke to him yesturday before he left for home. I was surprised to notice how little anxiety or butterflies I felt. We are friends which makes me super happy, and I know I definately don't have feelings for him. Things are good and I couldn't be happier that things wrapped themselves up so nicely.

Again one big horray for the fall!! Also who wants to go to haunted houses???

Love ya!

Blues

Good afternoon lovelies!

Have you ever felt the blues for no particular reason at all? I feel irritable and not sad but not happy either. It feels like I shouldn't be feeling this way either. Maybe the real word for how I feel is lonely. It is weird to feel like this, it is beautiful outside, work is going well. It is my favorite time of year and football season has started. I have plenty of blessings to be grateful for and yet for the better part of a week I feel lonely and kind of stuck. Like school isn't coming soon enough, like I need a change and I don't know what it is, like I need someone to be me so I have someone to talk to, get advice, and give me a big hug while I let myself cry on my shoulder. I am feeling like I want to date with no real prospects, and lets face it most guys don't see beyond skin deep and there are too many pretty fish in this sea. I am kind a Debbie downer today, I know and forgive me. I just feel out of sorts.

Unexpectations

Hey lovelies-

How are you? I hope fabulous, after all life is more about attitude then what is happening!!

I have been thinking about the experience of the last week. It has been more to digest then what I thought it would be. I told you about a surprise visit. I am not sure what expectations I had set for it, I had really mixed feelings about it. I want to be friends, and maybe I would give anything for it to be. But truthfully unlike other times seeing him for the first time was awkward. It was hard to realize that the experiences we have both had changed us. I am not sure what any of it means to me.

I know for the first time in a year I am not in love with him anymore. Maybe that is a good sign, one that says we could go back to being normal. It was a hard year, and thought of seeing him again when he broke my heart a year ago was hard, I went through all sorts of thought processes wondering what anything could me, did mean and whether I really wanted to see him at all. I don't know if I had expectations, after all expectations are hard to come up with anyways when you don't know what to expect. But I know one thing, I am not sure I expected to have things work out the way they did, I didn't expect to see him, and I didn't expect to feel the way I did. But like I said I think it is good, maybe we can get to be friends again move past the awkward feelings and towards a normal friendship.  I don't know if this makes sense to anyone, unless you were me and had experienced this, but there you go.

Make today fabulous!

Take Notes!

Hey lovelies!

I love this video of this little girl!! She knows how to use positive reinforcement! It makes me think I need to take notes, live more, worry less!! Enjoy!! And have a fabulous weekend!

Why

Hey lovelies!!

Remember that post a while back, the one where I explained that God doesn't usually answer the question why? Well I feel like asking that question now! You know how I said I was going to have surprise visit? Well that visit starts tomorrow. I didn't expect it and after so long I wonder why it had to happen now? Again with the why? I had so many answers to prayers, received revelations that put me onto a specific path. When things didn't work the way I expected them I had too many questions to even be sure. One such was why, why didn't it work the way I expected, why did I get put on that path only to find a broken heart? Maybe I was supposed to be. I am not really sure. All I know is I have had an anxious tummy feeling for a better part of a week and I have no idea what it means! Do you?

Surprises

Well Good afternoon Lovelies!

Can I go on a tangent for a moment before I write other things? Okay thanks! I walk usually early in the morning with my dog, not that early like 6:30. One of the people along my street has an annoying dog who barks ferociously. The owner got yelled at by his neighbors because of it. Keep in mind my dog doesn't bark back and we just go on our way. The other day the guy decided it was my fault his dog barks and told me I couldn't walk when I did. First, I live in a country where I am free to be on public property. I was on public property. Second since when are you as the owner of a pet not responsible for the pet. If my dog were to poop on others lawns, bark at people, run off, or bite someone it would be my responsibility to take care of it. So it makes sense that he would be responsible for his dog, not me, I am not provoking it, I could walk by without my dog and he would continue to bark. What is he going to do tell the whole neighborhood they cannot come on the street that runs by his house on the corner? I think Not!! So again why is your barking dog my fault? That is what I thought. Take responsibility for what is yours and I will worry about mine!!!!

Okay I have officially stepped off my soap box. in other news my life has been having a series of ups. I love when I feel this way especially after a lot of series of downs. I still have a few things to do for school but I am almost done. Then there is unexpected visits from people who mean a lot to you. I just don't know what else to do but be grateful. God Blesses my life, is aware of me, and blesses my life when I need to recognize it the most. The unexpected visit will be a good thing I think. But there will be more to come about that in another post friends!!

Loves!

Troubles

Hey Lovelies!!

So I have been thinking, I know trouble right? But at times I think I have moved on from him, but then I discover falling out of love is probably as hard  harder then falling in love and most definitely more painful. sigh.